Pretty Little Liars Review: “Wanted: Dead or Alive” (Season 7 Episode 6)

BLESS ALL, BLESS ALL. SHOWER HARVEY HAS FALLEN CURSE TO THE Pretty Little Liars MURDER EXTRAVAGANZA.

On Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 6, someone’s bitch-ass calls Rollins’s, or Archer’s, burner phone to impersonate him and scare the girls. Hanna, especially.

pretty little liars season 7 episode 6 2That’s right. The same phone that he used to communicate with Jenna, who just so happened to be the best of friends with Charlotte and helped establish Archer under his false identity at Welby.

Will we ever find out the true story about Cece/Charles/Charlotte? If Archer and Charlotte planned the entire time to coerce Alison into helping get her released, what was ever real about their relationship? Nothing?

Did Charlotte just pretend to bond with Alison as a sister, even in the 6A finale, to get a lighter sentence in whatever mental institution she knew she’d be shipped off to?

And, according to Jenna’s flashback, she was helping Charlotte uncover who her birth mother was. She knew all along that Jessica wasn’t her mother, and Alison wasn’t her sister.

But, if Charlotte didn’t know who Mary Drake was before she was put into Welby, how does this explain her using the name Cece Drake so many years prior?

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I’d genuinely thought, and hoped, Charlotte had changed… at least a little bit. I wanted her to have some sort of relationship with her family, as Alison has never been able to establish a decent one, but nope. That bitch is crazy.

Elsewhere, Hanna starts to lose her chill when she receives phone calls on Elliott’s burner phone. Phone calls with his voice. Granted, it would’ve been easy to use software to string together short sentences such as those for one of these techie nerds in Rosewood.

These girls are just idiots. Seven years later and they still plan into whatever trap their tormentor has set for them. A.D. wanted Hanna (with Spencer in tow) to dig up Elliott’s body and make sure he was still there. Which is exactly what he did, and now he has it on video.

Would anyone else not be surprised if Pretty Little Liars ended with pretty little prison for the liars?

And god bless I. Marlene King for finally doing something we’d all begged her to do since the beginning of Season 6. Sara “Shower” Harvey finally bit the dust for choosing the wrong team (the liars’ team). The irony that her corpse was found in the hotel room shower.

Aria agreed to marry Ezra, so now we all can get excited about Nicole’s inevitable arrival in the 7A finale, where she’ll have PTSD and Ezra will run to her side for comfort, leaving Aria out in the cold. Yaaaaay.

Who do you believe could be A.D. after this episode’s events?

My guess? Noel Kahn.

Fishy that as soon as he shows up, Sara is murdered for trying to warn Emily about something, and Jenna overhearing. Also, he and Elliott look quite alike, all that’s missing is the connection and the accent. But, a fan favorite theory is that Wren Kingston is Uber A, since he was replaced as not Big A.

Final thoughts: BRING BACK MONA.

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